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COONS and the Al Queda Connection!!!

Lest We Forget!!!

THE ENEMY!!

We as GAWD fearin' Americans must remain ever vigilant against the onslaught of terrorism and the constant threat of the diabolical COONS! September 11th 2002 Marks the one year since a terrible union between the forces of the Al Queda terrorist group, Clan assamite, and yes, brothers and sisters, the coons, laid waste to one of the most recognizable of this nations landmarks. The rubble has cleared and we as a nation have begun to move forward and wage a righteous war on those who would attempt to hinder our GAWD given freedom. Though we are moving forward we still must be ever watchful for the black creeping paw of the ring tailed devils as this letter from one of the faithful will tell.

A true story for the righteous,

I have a true story for all those who KNOW the lord! Yesterday I was
walking around the great city of New York, viewing and gazing upon its
goodly people and buildings. Although I am prone to staying on the straight
and narrow path I felt a calling this particular night, so I did follow my
feet to where the Lord hath driven me. Shortly thereafter I was walking
past an alley way and LOW what did I hear! A scampering and scurrying noise
and the SHADOW of a fell beast! It was the size of a small dog or very
large cat. At first I thought, nay not here in the heart of the city so far
from the swamps and dens of evil, No NOT here! So I eyed in the alleyway,
and there at the end of the freaken cave it was! A beast, masked and full
of Satan's might. He was the largest COON I did ever see! I quickly
realized this was one of them there Yankee coons, which had grown fat on
garbage, babies that it stole from cribs and Kentucky fried chicken that it
bought with the drug money that it made from selling crack to our children!
I called upon my faith and knew what must be done! JUMP! YELL! THWACK!
But the DEEVAL was strong here I was without my thwacking stick! The
coon knew this it seemed. He mocked me and hissed at me from the end of his
alley. But I drew deeper on my calling and brought forth the scripture of
the flying knee smash that our beloved Saint used to slay the last of the
Brazilian Five Toed Flying Tree, Ice Chest and sometimes Pay Phone Booth
Lemurs! I reared back to make my mighty flying leap o' faith when I looked
up! There above the coon was the metal workings of his master Satan! Fire
escapes blocked my approach!
Shamed but not defeated I point my arm out and decided to perform the
might exorcism on the coon. I called on holy words and begged the devil to
LET go of the coon, RELEASE him from his masked cage, be unto the Possum I
said release this body dark goat! Then I heard "Yo, whatcha doing there
boy?" I turned and I thought lord be praised its a man of the law, one of
NYC finest, a cop. I turned to him and said (I really did do this) "Tis a
coon officer, a bloody servant of the DEEVAL!"
The officer didn't seem to understand! He was all "Move along!" I
pointed my bony finger into the alley and said "but the Devil has taken
this alleyway!?!" HE still didn't get it! Then it sunk in! The coon had
bought off the police! He brought down the MAN unto me! The coon laughed
and sneered as the MAN made me move along. I have never been so defeated in
my righteous pursuits

Now my faithful I write you, Please seek out your law makers, plead, lobby
and beg them to enact anti-coon legislation! Only you can help save the
south before it turns into the urban hell that is the north! Hell the next
thing you know them Yankees will elect a Panda!

Yours in Elrod,

Marshall

More evidence of how their despicable kin is corrupting the moral fiber of our beloved land through evil Internet propaganda!

These are the official sites of the Devil.

The Devil speaks!!
The Temple of the Lemur
The main group protecting Lemurs!

Just so you know, the Lemur's grasp is wide and strong.
Beware the Lemur!

 

Elrod Preserve Us!

Remember friends when the masked bandits of doom darken your path recite the Prayer of Cleansing and Be Ye NOT AFRAID!

Dear Gawd, Grant me the TENACITY to hate the coons I cannot Kill

The COURAGE to Kill the Coons I can

And the WISDOM of Elrod to Leap, Scream, & Thwak!

Disclaimer: Coon hunters for Christ is a fictional organization dedicated to the eradication of raccoons and raccoon-kin in the name of St. Elrod and for the Glory of God. CFC, Coon Hunters for Christ Logo, and all fictional characters and stories are the sole property of Marshall W. Crutchfield and Geoffrey M. Latham. © 2000. All rights reserved.

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