Standard Soul Relinquishment Contract

I, ____________________ being of sound body and mind, I do hereby approve and affirm the transfer of my soul, to be defined for the purposes of this agreement as the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life, in my possession to another party for reimbursement through monetary, physical, metaphysical, and/or supernatural compensation and do furthermore solemnly swear to and do hereby and forever agree to the following terms and stipulations:

1. I will in no way, shape or form ever attempt to cause the undersigned beneficiary and or any of the undersigned beneficiary's associates and or liaisons any molestation of any kind and furthermore any mental trepidation that would cause damage that could be reputed under normal circumstances as irreparable harm.

2. I will in no way, shape or form ever attempt to appeal the conditions and stipulations of this contract to what would be considered a higher authority and or power over the realm of Heaven, and or the realm of Hell, and or the realm of Earth, and or the United States Government, and or the Kingdom of Madness, and or any other celestial body with an atmosphere capable of sustaining life at or above the microbial level within the confines of this Universe.

3. I will in no way, shape or form ever attempt to appeal the conditions and stipulations of this contract to what would be considered a higher authority and or power over any court contained in any alternate Universe and or alternate dimension from that of our own.

4. I will in no way, shape or form ever attempt to contact what would be considered a higher authority and or power over the realm of Heaven, and or the realm of Hell, and or the realm of Earth, and or the United States Government, and or the Kingdom of Madness, and or any other celestial body with an atmosphere capable of sustaining life at or above the microbial level within the confines of this Universe, furthermore any alternate Universe and or dimension from that of our own, for the purpose of reprisal of any previous possessions lost to the undersigned beneficiary and or any of said beneficiary's associates and or liaisons under the stipulations of this contract.

5. I will in no way, shape or form ever attempt any retribution and or hostile actions and or associations against the undersigned beneficiary and or any of said beneficiary's associates and or liaisons.

6. I will in no way, shape or form ever discuss with any parties, (Other than the undersigned beneficiary, and or any of the said beneficiary's associates and or liaisons), any of the stipulations contained within, and furthermore the existence of this contract.

7. I will now and forever surrender all legal rights, and furthermore all rights given by birth, to my soul to the undersigned beneficiary.
In attaching my signature to this document I do not automatically acknowledge the existence of the human soul as defined above. Nor does it attest to or preclude the signing party's observance as principium any deity, belief system, church, religion, sect, spirituality, contemporary or ancient mythology with membership in excess of 2 persons. It does, however, state that should such an emanation exist it is no longer my property. Should the Judeo-Christian tenet which asserts the existence of a eternal paradise, referred to as heaven, and a realm of the eternally damned, heretofore referred to as hell, prove to be indubitable I thoroughly and without exaggeration or hesitation understand and accept that entrance into either unknown may be hindered to an unknown degree. If some other hereafter should require said emanation it has been satisfactorily explained that all interest accumulated during my ownership has been transferred with my signature.

The conditions of transaction include the transference of _____________________ (compensation) from the buyer, one Geoffrey Michael Latham (AKA Moose, AKA The Beneficiary) to ______________________________ (the Seller or Relinquishing Party), the signatures of the transacting parties on the bottom of this document,.

I understand that by signing this contract I am agreeing to the stipulations contained herein. I also understand that if I am under any mental and or physical duress during the process of signing this document it will be considered null and void. I also understand that if I nave neglected to read the stipulations contained within this contract I still must abide by them if I have signed this document. I also understand that if I am in any way, shape or form fooled and or tricked into signing this contract I still must abide by the stipulations contained herein. Also I understand that if I am under the legal age of consent, my signature will remain valid until I reach the legal age of consent and this contract will, at that time, become valid. If I should die before I reach the legal age of consent, this contract will become valid at such time as you would have reached the legal age of consent. Any forgery will be considered valid as signers' signature. I give the beneficiary full power to do whatever they will with my soul at their pleasure, including but not limiting, to rule, to send, to fetch, to carry, to recreate, to imprison, to destroy, to free, to distribute, to copy, to display, to use, to molest, and/or to otherwise dispose of in a manner not specified. I understand that all articles excluded are to be deemed included. I do hereby forfeit all legal rights of prosecution against the undersigned beneficiary, and or any of said beneficiary's associates and or liaisons. Ignorance and or willful destruction will in no way protect me from the obligations of this contract.
_____________________Beneficiary
_____________________Relinquishing party
_________Initials _________Date

I also agree to forfeit all legal rights to any Kool-Aid points that I should acquire in the future by any means to the over-signed beneficiary.